The Mom Song

In the incredibly broad genre that is rap music, there is quite a variety of topics ranging from the more common themes of money, fame, and sex, to deeper subjects like relationships or religion.  One rather enjoyable and significant theme that has emerged from the crowd is what I like to call the Mom Song. The Mom Song is simply a rap song dedicated to or discussing one’s mother (or mother figure, in some cases).  Some are apologetic (Eminem’s “Headlights”), some thankful, (Tu Pac’s “Dear Mama”), and some probably give

Drake and his mother, Sandi

out much more information than the mother would appreciate (Drake’s “Look What You’ve Done”).  Lots of rappers have done it, and it’s an important introspective point in the career of any rapper.  Rappers rap about their passions, so surely the Mom Song goes beyond just writing a hit.  They do it for more than the fame.  The relationship between a mother and a son can be so important in the life of a young boy, as well as the life of a grown man.  This is corroborated with empirical evidence and it still transcends into music, specifically rap music.  The science world as well as common sense can tell us that mothers are important.  That’s certainly no secret.  And the Mom Song too, is important.  It reminds us listeners that our beloved rappers were first loved by a woman who never expected fame.  Perhaps more importantly, the Mom Song causes us to appreciate our own mothers even more, and it proves that nothing should stand in the way of having a good relationship with one’s mother.  As J. Cole puts it in his Mom Song (“Apparently”), “I need to treat ya better, wish you could live forever, so we could spend more time together…I love you, mama.”

The psychological side of the mother-son relationship is clear:  a mother being there for her son (and vice versa) during hard times is crucial to the closeness of the relationship, which in turn is important to the life of both mother and son.  In a study by Morman and Whitely, the majority of mothers and sons (unrelated to each other) said that “social support” is what most affected the closeness of the relationship.  Shortly following for both the mother and the sons was “family crisis.”   In You & the 6, Drake opens with "Having conversations with mama, man my life is a mess", which shows both of those points.  He's not afraid to say that he still goes to his mother for support; it's natural.  These themes seem to be popping up again and again in research as well as in rap songs.  But the point of Mom Songs doesn’t have to be so specific.  We can research the mother son relationship with quantifiable data all day, but what will it tell us?  Exactly what we all already know to be true.  What the rappers are all saying is that moms are important.  The data, as well as life itself proves this.  

Kanye West isn't an artist we typically think of as warm and fuzzy.  He's rude, straightforward, and he even interrupted T Swizzle at the '09 Grammys (although somewhere deep down I thoroughly enjoyed that whole catastrophe).  Kanye is one of those artists that you really should hate, but you just can't.  He could probably kill a man and his fans wouldn't stop loving him.  Why is this?  It's simple:  the music.  It speaks to people.  I disagree politically with Yeezy on many levels (West for Prez 2020?), but he's still one of my favorite artists.  No matter how many ass hole-ish things he does, I will probably still love his music.  Everything Ye does seems to shatter expectations, and his Mom Song is no exception (as if you needed another reason to love Kanye).  He even further drives home the point that mothers are so important in the life of a man.  The case of Kanye West and his mother, Donda, is one for the books. 

Ye and Donda

Donda raised Kanye almost entirely by herself, and Ye has always given her the credit she deserves.  He talks about her often in his songs as well as outside the context of music.  The relationship is so special, and it proves that the bond can be so tight it can even transcend death.  That’s right guys, get your tissues ready.

In 2000, Kanye West wrote a song dedicated to his mother, Donda West, that would later appear on his album Late Registration in 2005.  He debuted the song to his mother face to face on an episode of Oprah.  “Hey Mama” is a happy and bubbly song with that early Kanye gospel sound that simply expresses West’s thankfulness for how his mother raised him.  It's a song to sing along to for sure.  It's heartwarming, and it reminds us that Kanye has feelings too.  It's actually kind of adorable (not a word we usually associate with Kanye).  West expresses the idea of wanting to spoil his mother with his fortune, buying her “that mansion we couldn’t afford” (he did end up buying her a mansion).  This Mom Song is uplifting, and it certainly makes listeners see the lighter, more vulnerable and emotional side of Kanye West, who is somewhat notorious for not smiling or easily showing his feelings.  It is evident that Donda West being there for her son through his hard times has shaped him into who is is today, and it is even more evident that Donda played an extremely important role in Kanye’s life.  The chorus expresses how West is so proud of his mom, and he just wants her to be proud of him too.  The song leaves listeners uplifted and happy, and it is obvious that the two have an unbreakable bond.    

Now, here comes the sad part.  On November 9^th, 2007, 58-year-old Donda West had plastic surgery.  Everything went seemingly well, until the next day, Ms. West was hospitalized for chest pain, and died later that day.  It was tragically unexpected, and still remains a mystery to the West family.  Ye partially blames himself for the death, saying “If I had never moved to L.A. she'd be alive.”  The coroner even said that “The final manner of death could not be determined; multiple post-operative factors could have played a role in the death. The exact contribution of each factor could not be determined.”  Suddenly, Kanye’s “little light of mine” was gone.  His beloved mother, who made him “famous homemade chicken soup” when he was sick now existed only in memories.  At Kanye’s next performance, he tried to perform “Hey Mama”, but

Kanye performing "Hey Mama" at the 2008 Grammys

suddenly the song wasn’t so happy and bubbly anymore.  West broke into tears and had to leave the stage, before returning 15 or so minutes later and performing the fitting song, “Stronger” (“That don’t kill me, it only makes me stronger”).   This line rang true, seeing that Kanye has only become more and more popular since that time in his life.  He hasn’t let this tragedy hinder his success.  But his relationship with Donda isn’t over even though he now has a family of his own.  For those of you who live under a rock, he’s now married to Kim Kardashian and has a gorgeous little girl named North.  Despite the death of his mother, and the busyness of starting a family, Kanye has hardly slowed down.  Some (including himself... well, mostly himself) argue that he’s even reached God status. 

Enter: the mother of all Mom Songs.  In December 2014, Kanye released a single, co-produced with Paul McCartney, titled “Only One”.   The first time I heard the song, I noted how bland it was musically.  But this wasn’t an accident.  This causes the listener to truly focus on and contemplate the lyrics, which are from the perspective of the late Donda West (Kanye even credits her as a writer). The music is stripped down and back to basics, unlike the  many musical layers of "Hey Mama".  The transition from “Hey Mama” is clear, and this is a sort of closure for Kanye.  In “Hey Mama”, Ye raps “I just want you to be proud of me.”  In “Only One” we hear Donda say “And if you knew how proud I was, you’d never shed a tear have a fear, no you wouldn’t do that.”  The song is also relevant to the relationship that Kanye has with North.  Kanye was an only child, his mother’s “only one”, and now he has his own “only one” (Kanye literally means “only one” in Swahili).  The song hints at Donda living through North, as the

North West

perspective later in the song switches to Kanye speaking to North, muttering the words he once heard from his own mother.  “There’s only one thing I wish I could change out of everything that’s ever happened”, Ye said at a 2014 show, “I wish that my mother could’ve met my daughter.”  So now this is what you should do, if you think you can handle the feels.  Listen to the song if you haven’t already and watch the video (that’s Kanye’s daughter with him). 

So what exactly does this tell us about the mother-son relationship?  The science tells us that certain events like divorce, family tragedies, and hard times can ruin this connection.  There have been multiple studies done, including Morman and Whitely’s, showing that this relationship is an important one.  But do we really need to be told this through concrete evidence?  In rap, Mom Songs show us this.  Life shows us this.  It’s evident that if a bond is strong enough, not even death can separate mother from son. 

"I talked to God about you.  He said He sent you an angel.  Look at all that He gave you.  You asked for one and you got two."

Nothing Was the Same

Finally, the girl whose blog name is a reference to Drake writes about Drake (sorry it took me so long). 

First we’ll start with some background.  Aubrey Drake Graham is a half black, half Jewish child actor from Toronto.  He got his start on Degrassi: The Next Generation playing a wheel-chair bound high school student.  Not exactly the same upbringing as the artists featured in my previous posts.  That is, Toronto is certainly no Compton.  Nonetheless, Drake is a superbly talented rapper, with lyrical and musical skills superior to many of the legends.  His appeal is different from that of most rappers, but I’ll get to that later.  Recently, Drake’s popularity has skyrocketed, and I pride myself in being an early Drake fan, way back in my middle school days.  One of his first popular singles, “Successful”, was coincidentally one of the first songs I ever bought on iTunes.  But it’s never too late to jump on the bandwagon! 

Nothing Was the Same (NWTS) is Drake’s third studio album, released in fall of 2013.  Despite the title, the album is pretty much classic Drake verses over classic Drake beats.  Some critics have slammed Drake for this, but why fix what’s not broken?  This is the Drake style that has captured the hearts and attention of people worldwide, including my own.  The emotion behind Drake’s raps, especially those on NWTS, is deeper than most other rappers to date.  He raps about life, about love, and he opens up to his audience in a way that is rarely seen in the rap world.  This makes him different from all the other rappers whose ego perhaps is standing in the way of real emotional outpour.  Drake breaks the mold of the tough, black, male rappers (think Rick Ross, 50 Cent, etc), in an artistic and sonically pleasurable way.  He’s often made fun of for this (see "Some Drake Memes" to your right), and not taken seriously by some, but this sensitivity is exactly why Drake is successful.

NWTS kicks off with the 6 minute, verseless, track, “Tuscan Leather”.  There aren’t many rappers out there that could get away with rapping for six minutes straight without it getting boring.  Drake even says himself, “I could go an hour on this beat”.  It may be long, but it is crucial in setting a conversational tone for the entire album.  Unfortunately, it is a very one sided conversation.  At many points in the album the audience feels as if they are simply listening to Drake talk about his problems.  He shows right off the bat that he’s not straying too far from this usual lyric style, although the music is a little more aggressive than we’re used to.  He opens up so many times about women in his past and present, including Nicki Minaj, expressing his discontent in the fact that they’ve grown more distant than he would like.  Drake is constantly shifting seamlessly between addressing a general audience and addressing specific women, with lines like “girl don’t treat me like a stranger, girl you know I’ve seen you naked”.  This makes the listening experience much different for women, who often feel as if Drake is speaking directly to them (Drake has not, in fact, seen me naked).

One of the radio hits from the album, “Started from the Bottom”, is easily the weakest track on the album, and it’s a shame that this is the one that most people know.  It’s not a bad track; it’s catchy, and appealing to some, but it lacks that quality of openness that has always set Drake apart.  In this song, he fits perfectly into the mainstream, which is probably why this track got a lot of air time.  He then returns to his appealing lyrics with lines like “Next time we fuck, I don’t wanna fuck, I wanna make love.  Next time we talk I don’t wanna just talk, I wanna trust.  Next time I stand tall I wanna be standing for you.  Next time I spend I want it all to be for you.”  Ladies, don’t you wish all men thought like that?  Once again, he is obviously speaking to women, but the song is just too catchy for even men to resist singing along. 

Later in the album comes one of my all time favorite songs. “Too Much” starts slowly with a dramatic and melancholy piano riff, followed by the voice of Sampha singing “Don’t think about it too much, too much, too much, too much.”  After more singing and piano, Drake finally jumps in and begins to really open up about his life, and how it’s been affected by his fame.  Talking about fame isn’t something that’s unique to Drake, but the conversational way in which he does this is certainly not heard often.  He gets personal in the second verse, talking about his mother, saying “I hate the fact my mom cooped up in her apartment, telling herself that she’s too sick to get dressed up and go do shit, like that’s true shit.”  The beat is so simple, which allows the audience to focus on the lyrics, which is rewarding, because the message really is an important one.  As he discusses all these struggles in his life, we continue to hear in the background “Don’t think about it too much”, which serves as a reminder to not overthink matters, and that happiness can be found in simplicity.  The album winds down with a Jay-Z feature and a Big Sean and 2 Chainz feature, before finally closing with “The Motion.”  This finale to NWTS wraps up the issues and struggles articulated throughout the album, expressing “I guess that’s just the motion.”

So maybe you’re still not convinced that Drake is any different from all the other rappers out there.  Drake is confident, but not in the “I’m too good for everyone” type of way.  He’s confident enough in his masculinity to open up about his feelings, which is a slap in the face to masculine culture, especially the culture of male rappers that has always been and still is prevalent.  Rather than “smack the bitch in the face, take her Gucci bag and the North Face” (Biggie’s Dead Wrong), or “I fuck her ‘till she cry, make that bitch drink her fucking tears, Lord, I hope she swallow more than tears” (Lil Wayne’s Started), Drake talks about getting a “backrub from my main thing, I’ve been stressed out.”  The kind of nasty, tough guy lyrics that are so ubiquitous in rap are replaced by respect and thought.  It’s easy to see why women like this, but Drake is certainly popular among men as well.  Maybe it’s because deep down, Drake expresses what we all really want in relationships, love and trust.  It’s human nature.  People may give Drake a hard time for being sensitive, but isn’t it refreshing?  It’s often frowned upon for men to be so open with their feelings and so delicate when it comes to relationships, but men have emotions too, and Drake does an important thing by expressing this.  He’s changing the face of masculinity in rap, one heart-felt song at a time.